With three games to go and the league in the bag, the motivation for the rest of the season has got to be to stay undefeated. With a game against Ibis, whom we have knocked out of two cups and beaten in the league once already this year, this shouldn’t have been too tricky. However, several things were counting against us. Firstly, our team was looking a little threadbare with James and Dave J called to other teams in the club. Secondly, those players who were there were not exactly in the finest fettle, with Daveyo benching himself as he couldn’t run or head the ball and SiD hobbling about like an old man with a bad back. Correction: hobbling about because he is an old man with a bad back. Thirdly, this Ibis team was not the team that we had trounced earlier in the season. Where had these other players come from? Conspiracy theorists may say more sinister things, but their sub claimed that the team is made up of talented players too indisciplined to train, and so don’t get into the higher teams. Hmmmmm.

As it was Oli's final game for the Eagles before heading off to Australia (and there's me thinking we stopped sending our shady characters there quite a while ago), he assumed the captaincy. The captain's usual duties of motivational team-talks pre-match and at half time, leading by example on the pitch, leading the three cheers and creating a physical barrier between Cam and the ref at vital moments were all dispatched with aplomb. I am sure the whole team wants to wish Oli well in his travels, and thank him for driving us on this year with all those towering headers, crunching tackles and crucial goals.
So, the game started with both the blazing sun and a few worries making the BB Eagles sweat. Have you ever seen an eagle sweat? It’s not a pretty sight. Luckily, the sweat was reduced as Phil calmed our nerves with a sweet volley. The corner was cleared to the edge of the area, where Phil thumped it into the net with a mirror-image of his goal against Lloyds. Two goals for the season, and two goal of the season contenders. What is the point in scoring if it is not aesthetically beautiful? I heartily agree.

The game progressed with our heroes looking in control of the game, but with our usual attacking tools somewhat nullified by the oppo. Cam was having a frustrating time against an ox / cheetah hybrid that they had playing at centre-back, Si May struggling with limited possession and Ben’s usual close dribbling and incisive running always just failing at the last. Oli was having a right battle with his opposite number, and his usual 95% headers-won ratio was significantly less than that. Atter displayed his usual industry and smart distribution, but nothing was working in the final third as every member of the team displayed jigsaw-like tendencies.

The back four of SiD, Ste, Jose and Charles looked to be fairly comfortable, however. Their striker kept moaning how boring and low standard the game was, but did not display the willingness or ability to do anything about it. The first half degenerated into a seemingly interminable series of throw-ins from our full-backs, with Charles spending about ten minutes standing on the sideline chucking it into their area, only to watch it fly out and off the pitch again. Charles had a great game, giving his man hardly a sniff, and using his strength and speed to pull back any situations that were looking dodgy as he has done all season. He had a quieter second half, though.

Unfortunately, just as everyone was thinking it would end 1-0, Ibis scored. A fast break saw them stretch the defence more than they had done previously, but with numbers back it seemed like there was no way through. However, bad luck followed each of two good challenges, and both saw the ball break off shins to their player who suddenly had a clear sight of goal and put the ball past Horace, who saw it dribble past his fingertips after putting his body on the line for the team diving onto the rock-hard ground.

So, game on. The second half continued much as the first, but with our chances getting clearer and clearer. Daveyo came on having recovered mobility during an extended warm-up, and SiD’s back had eased up. Ben dribbled past two players and then drew the goalie into sprawling onto the floor early. In the time and space he had created, Ben could have rolled a cigarette, smoked it, done some research on the internet to show he’ll severely reduce his life expectancy and marathon performance by smoking, tried out a few nicotine patches to see which one he preferred, put on a few pounds from overeating and hallucinated the smoke coming out of someone’s mouth into the words “Lovely fags” before shooting into the gaping net. Instead, he decided that it would be all too obvious to score, so he put it out for a goal kick. Atter’s late run into the area was also picked out giving him time for a first-time shot that looked good initially until it started heading for the corner flag rather than the goal.

Our pressure was growing, and we should have scored when an excellent Jose free-kick was put just over from Daveyo’s head. A few minutes later, from the same position, we had the ball in the net. Another testing ball from the man with no number caused panic in their area. From a BBE head the ball went miles straight up in the air. With half the players on the pitch all going for the ball, it was the combined might of Daveyo, Ben, Oli and a few others who managed to bundle it into the back of the net. The dubious goals committee eventually gave it to MoM Oli.

That looked to be that until in the dying minutes the ref awarded a very dubious free kick to Ibis. They floated the ball hopefully into the area, where three of our defenders went for it at the same time. It glanced off their combined noggins, and fell to the oppo about a yard out. He had almost as much time as Ben, and the resulting shot was played out in war-film death style slowmo. Horace flung himself at the ball, again risking a broken limb to save the game, but it eluded him and nestled in the back of the net to give us only a few minutes to try to regain the lead.

Unfortunately, this didn’t happen, and the post-match talk was very downcast. Until we realised that a) we’d were still unbeaten; b) it was a gloriously sunny day; c) Spurs vs Chelsea was on the telly and d) it Saturday night was young and there was still plenty of time to have a few drinks and get arrested on the way home.

Si D.